Monday, October 8, 2007

The Week in AAlcohol





But Bullwinkle, that trick never works
Lindsay Lohan emerged this week from two months in rehab. It was her third crack at alcohol treatment this year






Clean water was too hard
to find an investigation by Labatt Brewery discovered that bottles of Stella Artois with high concentrations of ethyl alcohol had been taken from displays and sold to the public. Their explanation for the adulterated bottles: “It was to keep the beer from getting cloudy.”





No, it’s not about former Ontario Solicitor-General Ken Keyes
Students at The University of Calgary introduced a video game called "Booze Cruise", which aims to simulate the experience of driving while at up to three times the legal blood-alcohol limit







I
will kill this beer Ford of Canada announced that 24 star Kiefer Sutherland’s recent drunk driving charge will not alter his position as voice-over spokesman for Ford products in Canadian TV commercials












So that’s what killed him England’s Prince Harry, soon to be publicly immortalized in marble as a dead soldier in a tribute to servicemen not allowed to participate in the gulf war, was photographed this week snorting vodka













OK, that’s it---Mugabe’s gotta go
The price of beer in Zimbabwe was doubled by Government fiat













We don't like that she's calling her latest album
Blackout, either People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals are calling for noted---and now childless---alcohol abuser Britney Spears to have her dogs taken away from her

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