Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Week in Alcohol

Y'see, freezing the grapes allows the water to disperse, which concentrates the diethylene glycol, melamine, and other toxins in the final product for shipment abroad China's Tonghua Grape Wine Co. announced plans to acquire the Canadian King's Court Winery for $6.6 million. In related news, the Yantai Changyu Pioneer Wine Co. of China announced a $20 million initiative to produce ice wine in China with Canadian technology.

They forgot PissinaCan
To compete with such popular imported wine brands as Fat Bastard and Cats Pee on a Goosebery Bush, Megalomaniac Wines of Canada has introduced their Narcissist Riesling and SonofaBitch Pinot Noir.

He claimed he was chasing down a gopher Actor Bill Murray refused to give Swedish police a breath sample after being stopped while driving a golf cart through downtown Stockholm, and smelling of alcohol. Police took a blood sample instead, and charges are pending.

Living in the same province as Gordon Campbell will do that to you A study published by Toronto's Center for Addiction and Mental Health found alcohol abuse in British Columbia to be almost 20% above the national average and 50% above the level observed in Quebec.

There was a run on the unwooded chardonnay Babeland, a New York City sex-toy store owned and run exclusively by women, has started offering winetastings. "The novice feels welcomed by the trendy atmosphere and the down-to-earth demeanour of our Sexy Sommeliers," one host said, "and seasoned oenophiles are intrigued by the unique angles by which we analyse, decipher and present our wines."

California Winemakers claim that recently proposed, stricter Homeland Security regulations will put the state's wine industry at risk, since the vast majority of the state's 50,000 grape pickers are illegal migrants. In other news, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger prepares to kick off September as California Wine Month

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